The Stargate Alphabet Book
by Danae Dixon
Summary: Want to teach your little one the alphabet, and also teach him or her the "Stargate" universe? Here's how! With all letters covered, and definitions given in just 10 words, your child will soon be as literate as Daniel Jackson. Let's learn with Stargate!


**Author's Note:** Just a little something that came to me when perusing the myriad of _Stargate _merchandise on offer in the world, and then—the following day—the even larger myriad of children's books centered on the alphabet. Ah, the synchronicity!

No copyright infringement blah blah blah. You know the drill. Dry clean only.

**ALL NEW!**

**The _Stargate SG-1_ Alphabet Book (_with 10-word Definitions)_**

Want to teach your little one the alphabet, but also want to ensure that he or she knows the rudiments of the _Stargate SG-1_ universe? Here's how! With all letters of the alphabet* covered, and definitions given in only 10 words – along with a quote from the show for each entry, and five possible alternatives – your child will soon be as literate as Daniel Jackson, and as well-versed in _Stargate_ lore as even the most avid adult fan. So let's learn the alphabet, the _SG-1 _way!

*Currently not available in Goa'uld or Ancient dialects.

* * *

**A is for Asgard**

Very advanced naked aliens who gave us stuff, then died.

Mitchell: You know, I read all the mission reports on the Asgard. They're not what I expected.

Carter: What were you expecting?

Mitchell: Well, pants, for one. -- _Ripple Effect (09.13)_

**A** is also for Apophis, Abydos, the Ancients, Anubis and Aris Boch.

* * *

**B is for Bra'tac**

Fearsome Jaffa warrior and wise leader who is always serious.

Daniel: Bra'tac sends his regards as well. I don't think he'll mind me speaking for him when I say he'd love to stab you in the eye with a really big knife. -- _Talion (10.17)_

**B** is also for Ba'al, the _Beliskner_, the Bedrosians, the _Book of Origin _and (Dr.) Bill Lee.

* * *

**C is for Carter (Lt. Colonel Samantha) **

Air Force officer and astrophysicist who can do no wrong.

Cromwell: Man, she is...

O'Neill: Way smarter than we are. -- _A Matter of Time (02.15)_

**C** is also for Cassandra, Chaka, Camelot, chevrons and cake.

* * *

**D is for Daniel Jackson**

Unparalleled scholar who's good with a gun and dies often.

O'Neill: Surprisingly difficult to kill you, isn't it? -- _Need (02.05)_

**D** is also for Dakara, _Daedalus_, Death Glider, Dave Dixon and DHD.

* * *

**E is for Ernest Littlefield**

First explorer from Earth through the Stargate, stranded till bald.

Daniel: General, we know where Ernest Littlefield went. He could still be alive. A man who had the vision to see the Stargate for what it really was, half a century before anyone else. -- _The Torment of Tantalus (01.10)_

**E** is also for the Eye of Ra, Edora, Elizabeth Weir, Egeria and entropic cascade failure.

* * *

**F is for Fraiser (Dr. Janet) **

Beloved SGC doctor, tragically killed while saving a random Airman.

O'Neill: Napoleonic power monger. _-- Crystal Skull (03.21)_

**F** is also for the Furlings, the F-302, F.R.E.D, First Prime and Fifth.

* * *

**G is for Goa'uld**

Snake-like sentient parasitic lifeforms that somehow conquered the entire galaxy.

Teal'c: I have served the Goa'uld. I have yet to meet a good one. -- _Hathor (01.13)_

**G **is also for GDO, Garshaw, Gairwyn, Gerak and Grace.

* * *

**H is for Hammond (Major General George)**

Former Commander of the SGC who was fired-by-promotion, then died.

Shau'nac: Hammond of Texas, a great and strong leader among humans. -- _Crossroads (04.04)_

**H** is also for Ha'tak, the Harcesis, Hak'tyl, Harry Maybourne and "Holy Hannah!".

* * *

**I is for IOA**

The International Oversight Advisory, whose oversight is almost always inadvised.

Landry: This is the IOA! These people carry a lot of influence with the Stargate Program, how it's run, how it's funded... -- _The Scourge (09.17)_

**I **is also for inertial dampeners, _intar_, Ishta, Imhotep and "Indeed.".

* * *

**J is for Jaffa**

Cannon (or staff-weapon) fodder in the armies of the Goa'uld.

O'Neill: I always get a happy, tingly feeling when I see those guys. -- _Within the Serpent's Grasp (01.21)_

**J** is also for Jonah, Jolinar, Junior, Jacob Carter and Jell-O.

* * *

**K is for Kree!**

All-purpose exhortation to Jaffa, mostly barked sharply, never said nicely.

O'Neill: Okay, I gotta know... what the hell does "kree" mean?

Daniel: Well, actually, it means a lot of things. Loosely translated it means attention, listen up, concentrate...

O'Neill: Yoo hoo? -- _Point of View (03.06)_

**K** is also for Kheb, Kasuf, Kanan, Kelowna and kawoosh.

* * *

**L is for Landry (Major General Hank)**

SGC Commander who is a bad father and likes hunting.

Teal'c: Is General Landry not expecting us at his cabin?

Carter: I'll let him know we're going to be delayed a little bit.

Vala: Oh, I'm sure Colonel Mitchell will be very pleased to hear he's got more special alone-time with the General. -- _Uninvited (10.05)_

**L** is also for the Land of Light, (The) Loop, (The) Lost City, Lucian Alliance and Loki.

* * *

**M is for Mitchell (Lt. Colonel Cameron) **

Latter-day leader of SG-1 who got the band back together.

Landry: Oh. Self-deprecating sense of humor. You think it'll make people like you despite your outward perfection. -- _Avalon, Part 1 (09.01)_

**M** is also for Memory Stamp, Merlin, Morgan le Fay, Martouf and macaroons.

* * *

**N is for Naquadah**

Near-impenetrable mineral from which Stargates are made... it also explodes!

Carter: Sir, we're talking about refined naquadah. It's extremely rare. -- _Chain Reaction (04.15)_

**N** is also for Ne'tu, Nyan, the Nox, the N.I.D and Nanites.

* * *

**O is for O'Neill (Major General Jonathan "Jack")**

No amount of words could ever encapsulate this awesome guy.

Weir: The Pentagon has convinced the President that there is one man who could run the SGC and make it politically viable, from an international perspective, despite the fact that he is part of the American military establishment.

O'Neill: Do we know this... shrub?

Weir: Well, _you_ know him rather well. Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. -- _New Order, Part 2 (08.02)_

**O** is also for the Ori, Osiris, Orban, Orilla and O'Malley's.

* * *

**P is for _Prometheus_**

First Earth-made interstellar spaceship, stolen several times, then blown up.

Carter: Sir, we can't call it the _Enterprise._

O'Neill: Why not?

Carter: The code name for the project is _Prometheus. _What's wrong with that?

O'Neill: It's a Greek tragedy. Who wants that? -- _Unnatural Selection (06.12)_

**P** is also for P3X-whatever, Pangar, Paul Davis, Priors and the Puddle.

* * *

**Q is for Quinn (Jonas)**

Brilliant Kelownan scientist who replaced Daniel and smiled a lot.

O'Neill: Hammond is insisting SG-1 needs a socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness.

Teal'c: Have you considered Jonas Quinn? -- _Redemption, Part 1 (06.01)_

**Q **is also for Qetesh, Quantum Mirror, Quartus, Quetzalcoatl and (Goa'uld) Queen.

* * *

**R is for Replicators**

Now-extinct robot bugs, initially toys, once bent on inter-galactic domination.

Daniel: Reese, the Replicators have become a problem for a lot of different worlds. We need to know how to stop them. -- _Menace (05.19)_

**R** is also for (Colonel) Reynolds, Revanna, the Re'tu, the Reole and Ry'ac.

* * *

**S is for Stargate**

Wondrous circles that miraculously enable instantaneous travel to other worlds.

Daniel: I remember when we were first trying to get the Stargate to work, I would just come here and stare at it for hours... -- _Lost City, Part 1 (07.21)_

**S** is also for Shar'e, Skaara, the Sangraal, Sokar and (_The) Simpsons._

* * *

**T is for Teal'c**

Fearless Jaffa who speaks with precision and previously wore eyeshadow.

Daniel: Uh, big guy. Gold emblem in his head. Goa'uld in his stomach. You can't miss him. **-- **_There But for the Grace of God (01.14)_

**T** is also for the Tollan, the Tok'ra, Thera, time travel and trees.

* * *

**U is for UAV (Unmanned Airborne Vehicle)**

One of many military-ish acronymns used – but this one's real!

O'Neill: Uh... we didn't _need_ that UAV, did we, sir? -- _One False Step (02.19)_

**U** is also for Unas, Urgo, User 4574, unresolved sexual tension and using correct grammar.

* * *

**V is for Vala Mal Doran**

Space-faring catburglar who's crush on Daniel made her join SG-1.

Daniel: Look, I know she's no angel. She's... she's lied, she's stolen, she's cheated, she's misrepresented herself, she's... lied. But she also risked her life to warn us that the Ori were on their way and almost sacrificed herself to shut down the very first Ori Supergate. -- _Morpheus (10.02)_

**V** is also for the Volians, the _Valhalla_, the Vorlix, Vyan and Vagonbrei.

* * *

**W is for Walter Harriman (Chief Master Sergeant)**

Chevron encoder _par excellence_, later Radar-like aide to SGC Generals.

Harriman: Well, basically, when the Gate is dialling, I say: "Chevron one encoded, chevron two encoded," and so on, incrementally, up to the seventh chevron, which is a little different because that's when the wormhole connects. When that happens, I like to change things up a little bit and just say: "Chevron seven, locked." -- _Heroes, Part 1 (07.17)_

**W **is also for Warriors (Jaffa), Warriors (Kull), Warriors (Sodan), Warrick and _(The) Wizard of Oz._

* * *

**X is for the X-301**

Hybrid fighter that proved the space shuttle can be useful.

Vidrine: How does she fly, son?

Teal'c: The vehicle performs well within accepted perameters.

O'Neill: Woohoo!—Sorry, sir, I couldn't help but get caught up in Teal'c's enthusiasm. -- _Tangent (04.12)_

**X** is also for the X302, the X-303, Xe'ls, x-rays and _(Wormhole) X-Treme!_.

* * *

**Y is for Yu (Lord)**

A once powerful (senile) Goa'uld with a funny punnable name.

Daniel: The second Goa'uld representative we're expecting is Yu.

O'Neill: Me?

Daniel: Yu is the name of the Goa'uld. -- _Fair Game (03.03)_

**Y **is also for Yat'Yir, Yolanda Reese, yellow sweatshirt, yo-yo and "Ya _think?_".

* * *

**Z is for ZPM (Zero Point Module)**

Hard-to-find battery of which the Ancients should have made more.

Daniel: Jack, think about it. With a fully-functional ZPM, we could power Earth's defences and open up a wormhole to the Pegasus Galaxy. -- _Moebius, Part 1 (08.19)_

**Z** is also for _zat'ni'katel_, Zipacna, (Colonel) Zukhov, za'tarc and... um... za'tarc detector?

_**Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you watch **_**Stargate****_ with me?_**

**COMING SOON! The _Stargate Atlantis_ Alphabet Book! ****_Look for it where all quality children's books are sold. _**_**(It won't be there, but you can look.)**_


End file.
